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Mah Dawg
he was raised by the cat. Sits with his head out the door and his ass inside deciding if he should pee or hold it because its raining.
Won't eat food dropped on the floor until you go through a ritual to let him know he's allowed to.
Doesn't know he's a little dog, chases bears out of the yard back into the bushes. Let's Big dog know 'this yard IS MINE
escorts everyone walking down the street past the property hoping for a pat or a treat.

His Mommy had a separate bedroom. When she passed he slept in front of the door waiting for her to come out for 2 weeks. Now when guests use that room, he sleeps there again to guard them. He'll scratch at that door and hide under the bed if he hears fireworks.
His girlfriend is a huge chocolate lab my native friends have across the street. They give it moose bones. Je slithers under their fence and steals the ones she's done with, sometimes bigger than he is. His tiny snout can get at the marrow that the big dog can't.

You got animals?

Parrot. He's 33. Got him shortly after he hatched.

He's very sweet. Likes to cuddle under my chin and make cooing noises. In the summer we sit out back and watch the wild birds.

At the bird store, they have a recent rescue, a yellow crested Macaw. He's 80, and quite insane. Someone put him in a cage in the corner of the living room and ignored him for 80 years. Birds need interaction. Cruellest thing I can imagine.

Chiwawa, vicious attack dog that smells fear. Has breath that can peel paint. Big suck, no idea where he gets it from. Getting on to 14 year now. As soon as I sit to watch tv with the wife he's right in there between us like a magnet.

Used to have a Pom. He'd watch Walking Dead with us and when I came back from the bathroom I'd lurch and grunt like a zombie. He'd leap onto her lap growling and snapping to defend her.
The new dog just looks at me like I'm retarded if I do that. Which I was for watching it after the first few seasons.
The old cat just liked to join games on the iPad, dragging cards around with its paw, tapping icons that pissed away credits. As annoying as the grand daughter 'helping' me play.